![]() In other words, let your child know that anger is normal and that there will always be things in life that make them angry. Nevertheless, we need to learn to manage ourselves appropriately when we get angry. Your child needs to understand that it’s okay to feel angry. Instead, give consequences for your child’s specific inappropriate behaviors, such as verbal abuse, physical abuse, or property destruction. Give Consequences for the Behavior, Not the Angerĭon’t give consequences because your child got angry. ![]() If your child is very young, you may want them to draw a picture that says, “I’m sorry.” If your child is older, ask them to do something more meaningful for the person they’ve wronged. You might also have your child make amends if they broke something or hurt someone else. After all, you’re the CEO of your household. But do it on your terms, not your child’s. Tell them there are better ways to deal with anger than losing control. Later, when things are calm, and at the time of your choosing, you can explain to your child that their behavior was not acceptable. Tell your child that his or her behavior is unacceptable and that you’ll speak with them when they’ve calmed down. Talk to your child in an calm tone, even if you feel like screaming at them. Focus on Being CalmĮven if emotions are running high, work to calm yourself down. This step applies to adolescents as well as to young children. The idea is to let your child wear themselves out. Reduce any stimulation in their vicinity. Remove yourself and any siblings from the area. Ensure the Area Around Your Child Is SafeĮnsure that the area around your child is safe and that no one can be hurt if and when your child lashes out. The following steps are the basis of this plan: 1. A rage plan puts you in control of yourself and the situation. Instead, it’s best to have what I call a rage plan so that you know exactly how you will effectively handle the next outburst or temper tantrum. In that same poll, more than 50 percent of respondents said that they end up “losing control and screaming back” when their child’s anger reaches the boiling point.īut responding to your child’s rage with anger is not the answer. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I’m afraid of his explosive temper.” ![]() ![]() “I walk on eggshells around my 15-year-old son. Do your child’s anger and rage make you feel exhausted and out of control? and even with us telling him to fight back when his little brother beats him, he still will not. and continues to receive only good reviews from school that he is a nice kid that doesn't hit other kids. So we removed them completely as friends. since the other parents didn't see any of this as problem. The parents were "blind" and kept saying it normal kid, and my son hit their twins too. I began telling him to hit them back, but he said 'no, he would not. and it crushed his little heart that his "friends" hit him. he'd cry himself to sleep at night because he was said because I told him "friends don't hit friends". the school they all went to said he never did. The girls would lie and say my son hit them back or whatever. the brother was only 1 year older than the twins and actually smaller in height and weight than them. the parents disciplined that the brother could not hit the girls back, ever. and we would all see the girls hit my son (and their older brother). When elementary school started, since the twins didn't have much discipline at home, they followed other classmates in not nice things and started hitting. lie and hide squirt guns in their shirts to try and fill it in the bathroom when told it was too cold for water play.). (like they'd come to our house and jam our hand towel down our sink drain for no reason. but when it came down to it, they were good kids at the core. it was never bad bad, just not disciplined by their parents and allowed the wild behaviors. Started age almost 5 until 6.5yo, my son had a 'friend'.
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